In today's attention economy, the difference between transactional and transformational donor relationships may come down to one question: Are you operating like a bellhop or a concierge?
That's the framework Neen James, author and luxury customer experience expert, introduced at Fundraise Up's Donor Experience Summit. "A bellhop is transactional, efficient, and important. A concierge is transformational," Neen explained. "And if you want to transform the donor experience, we need to start thinking like a concierge."
Bellhops and concierges both provide important services to guests in a hotel, but the approaches they take to their jobs couldn't be more different. A bellhop's job boils down to efficiency: Get the bags to the right room as quickly as possible. It's a task-oriented transaction. But a concierge's value is their expertise. They can anticipate what guests need, often before the guest does. That's how they can perform apparent magic, like snagging a last-minute reservation to a trendy restaurant.
Why does this matter now? "We're operating in an attention economy where attention is scarce," Neen explained. "Our attention span is split — and so is our donors'. Everybody wants access to their bank accounts, to their time, to their attention."
So how can you snag a precious morsel of donors' time and attention? By creating an experience that they'll want to — or feel they need to — pivot toward.
Your mission isn’t enough anymore
Bellhops treat everyone the same — efficiently, but identically. Concierges recognize that each person is different, with unique needs, preferences, and histories.
As Francesco De Flaviis, CMO, The National MS Society, told the DXS audience, "Care about your donors, put them at the center and get to know them. We can't expect that just because we have a great mission — and all of us do — that without any value exchange, the people will come and stay. We can't be brand-centric in that sense."
And the consequences of getting this wrong? "Like trust, loyalty can be lost. Very quickly actually," Francesco warned.
He emphasized that the experience must be a "persistent sense of unique, valuable relevance. If everybody in your group gets the same treatment, it's not the same."
This is where the concierge mindset diverges completely from the bellhop approach.
Francesco noted frontline fundraisers naturally think this way: "They get to know the donor. They understand. They remember their daughter or son's name. They remember what schools they go to — that is how to build a relationship."
The challenge is scaling this personalized approach beyond major gifts to your entire donor base.
Building loyalty over time, not in one moment
Concierges don't build trust with a single interaction — they build it through consistent, thoughtful engagement over time. Every touchpoint is a deposit.
Kevin Wong, Senior Vice President of Marketing at The Trevor Project, said we should change the way we think about loyalty itself. "Trust is not starting when you think you are starting. It is a ‘goodwill bank’ that you make deposits in along the way," he noted.
"You, the nonprofit leader... you're not the end-all and be-all of that loyalty or experience. In fact, your staff, your social platforms, the events that you have, the ways that people think about you, the ways that you collaborate with an influencer to a celebrity — all of those things help build those experiences, feelings and sentiments of loyalty," Kevin continued.
The concierge recognizes they're part of a larger ecosystem. Your donor's experience isn't just about you — it's about every interaction they have with your organization.
Practical ways to develop a concierge mindset
The beauty of the concierge approach is that it isn't expensive or resource-intensive. All it needs is systemized thoughtfulness — essentially, building processes that deliver personalized experiences consistently.
"You can take the concept of really being thoughtful with donors and systematize it, so it does feel personal; it does feel customized. But we have systems and training in place for our team to execute on that," Neen explained.
Send your team on a field trip
Neen shared a brilliantly simple exercise to help your team think like concierges.
"Give them some money to buy a coffee, sit in a luxury hotel lobby, and ask them to report back on what they notice: The way the staff hold themselves, the way they greet people, the sounds, the smells, the touch, the feel. For the price of a cup of coffee in an expensive hotel, you're giving them this accelerated learning and development around personalization," she said.
This experience teaches your team to notice:
- How staff anticipate needs before they're asked
- The small touches that create emotional resonance
- How personalization is delivered at scale
- What makes someone feel truly seen and valued
Then you can guide them to bring those observations back to your donor experience. What would the equivalent look like in your acknowledgment process? Your donor portal? Your event experience?
Map your touchpoints
The flip side of adopting the concierge mindset is figuring out when you're most likely to shift into bellhop mode.
"Personalization is really key, making people feel seen, heard, and valued by elevating all of the touchpoints. Map every touchpoint that you have and make it an experiment with your team," Neen noted. She challenged the audience to take an honest inventory of their processes and consider:
Where are you operating like a bellhop?
- Sending the same thank-you email to everyone?
- Processing gifts without noting preferences or patterns?
- Missing opportunities to reference past conversations?
- Treating volunteers and donors identically regardless of their journey?
Where could you operate like a concierge?
- Anticipating that a recurring donor might be interested in learning about program outcomes?
- Remembering personal details and referencing them naturally?
- Noticing giving patterns and reaching out proactively?
- Creating moments of delight that don't cost anything but show you're paying attention?
To do this right, it's vital that you truly know your donors: "We have to look donors in the eye and say, 'I see you.' If donors or customers don't get that sense that we are seen and that we matter, you're not going to have personalization," said Francesco. "Our most loyal donors feel that they matter. On an emotional and rational level they feel that they are stakeholders."
This is the ultimate outcome of the concierge mindset. When donors feel like stakeholders — not just sources of funding — you've transformed the relationship.
It isn't about the size of the gift. It's about the quality of the relationship and the consistency of the experience.
Remember to remember… and make it personal
Remember: Concierges get to know their guests. They anticipate. They personalize. They transform what could be just a transaction into a relationship.
Your donors deserve the same. And your mission depends on it.
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